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Date: 2018-02-24 14:27

Anna I can completely relate to you! I have been wracking my brain for years as to why I can 8767 t just be given the same open armed greeting and level headed conversations with people as everyone else, when I walk into a room. I truly do not feel like I am better than anyone else, I take good care of myself and care about other people. However, when I walk into a room filled with men or women, the men almost become shy (even blush!) and either avoid talking to me or seem uncomfortable. The women cask dirty looks or give off that 8775 fake 8776 niceness while we interact. I find it really hard to make good close friends because it 8767 s almost like people don 8767 t want to give me a chance. I 8767 ve actually developed a lot of anxiety because of this I feel. :/
I too have realized that I have to overcompensate for other people 8767 s initial reactions by making the first move with men and women, and being overly friendly and courteous, but it is tiring! I wish people were not so judgmental!
I often wish I could see myself as other people do, because although I don 8767 t think that I 8767 m ugly, I do not think I am a 8775 strikingly beautiful 8776 as people say. Yet, I think that perhaps . are almost more beautiful (dare I say) BECAUSE we are not arrogant? Inner beauty amps up outer beauty I think, and all I want is for everyone to appreciate the beauty in everyone else and not be so caught up in being competitive!
I liked your point about the possibility of us being introverted because of the reactions we 8767 ve been given socially because of 8775 the way we look 8776 . I know I definitely have walls up because of the amount of times I have been met with hostility while simply approaching someone with good intent.
It 8767 s interesting though, when I walk through the mall or down a street, and I see other women becoming increasingly more uncomfortable the closer I get, I look at them, smile with my eyes and heart, and 655% of the time, they genuinely smile back at me, almost like they are relieved I 8767 m not a bitch and have accepted them in my presence instead of trying to intimidate them (which I never had any intent of doing)! That sounds as if I am very full of myself, but it 8767 s weird and true!! I don 8767 t know why people see me the way they do, but I guess instead of looking at our . condition as a 8775 curse 8776 we can try to figure out it 8767 s purpose and perhaps do 8775 good 8776 and teach people that not all 8775 attractive 8776 people are mean! Especially in today 8767 s society where that is definitely promoted. I believe that inner beauty is FAR more important than outer beauty, I just wish more people could look past the outer shell (not matter how it looks, good or bad) and value who a person is on the inside. I think this means people need to be more patient with one another and stop jumping to conclusions.

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