Date: 2018-02-13 14:27
Hi, my wife passed away last year after a long battle with cancer. We were together for 7 years but she was sick for over 9 of those years. I 8767 m 96 and have no *censored*s. I have been considering re-entering the dating scent for the last few months but I haven 8767 t done much about it. I am very close to my late wife 8767 s family but I feel that they would be fine with me dating. I have a very positive outlook and while I miss my wife a lot, I feel that I am young and I want to make the most of my life.
I have done a bit of browsing on dating sites but I find it very hard to be attracted to someone through a few photo 8767 s and a basic profile. I guess I need to set up a proper profile and start chatting to women and going on a few dates.
One thing I have noticed that I am getting a bit more attention from single ladies recently. I was out in a bar recently with friends and I met someone I dated years ago. She is single and was very chatty and ended up moving to sit close to where we were, etc. Then added me as a friend on FB a day later. I 8767 m not interested at all but it was nice to get a bit of attention. I have had a few similar encounters recently also.
One issue I am finding is how to spot the difference between apathy/romantic interest/attraction and sympathy. I have met some really nice ladies in social settings, some for the first time and others who I know, who are extremely nice and very considerate and had some really nice conversations with but I was unsure if they were just being nice to me because I am a widower or whether they are actually interested in dating, etc.
One person really interests me. I know her for years but not very well. She is divorced with *censored*s and I recently met her a few times while out socially. I think she went through a fairly traumatic break-up/divorce but she is single and I think she is dating now. She was very friendly and we had a few nice conversations and she asked how I am getting on and some stuff about my late wife. She is very pretty and we have a lot of mutual friends and interests so I feel it might work. But it 8767 s back to the indecision of does she like me or is she just feeling sorry for me.
I 8767 m unsure how I should move this forward. I will be meeting her again in a few weeks at an event. I would love to just ask her out but I 8767 m a bit conscious that I might end up looking a bit needy or stupid or that she might be a bit freaked out because she was only trying to help.
What should I do?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. I could tell his mother never liked me. But I was always nice to her and accepted that my boyfriend is a mama’s boy. But lately it’s been getting really bad, it’s like she wants to break us apart. His parents have complained to my parents about me. When me and my boyfriend text she reads his messages when he is asleep. So now my boyfriend started to delete them and now she goes to the cellphone provider and asks for the texts so she can read them without his permission (she told my mom what she does). She would also text me from his phone pretending to be him telling me to leave him alone. Or she would text me through her phone telling me nasty things like I wasn’t a decent woman and I should leave her son alone. She controls him and doesn’t let him out of the house without her and we can’t hang out anymore and I can’t go to his house. So we decided to sneak out to see each other and somehow she found out and became more controlling. She never tells my boyfriend what she does. But two days ago she went to my mom’s house and started talking to her. She told her that we sneaked out and told her what we talk about in our texts. My mom told her that as parents they couldn’t control us and what we do since we are adult and they have to respect our love decision (both our families know we want to get married in the future). She also denied to my mother when she questioned her about the texts she sent me. Once my mom told her that she started talking bad about my boyfriend. As if trying to make him look bad so my mom dislikes him. She said very personal things about him. She said that he was obsessed with me and quit his job because of me (that’s not true, he left it because he got sick because of stress, he worked in a psychiatric hospital). She said that his immature and ever since he was *censored* he was mentally ill. That he was depressed since age 8 and would fantasies and make up stories. And if we get married I am going to be miserable because he is mentally ill. That he tries to separate her and her husband (his dad) and his crazy. She said so many horrible things. And he doesn’t know his mother came and talked to him. I really love him and I don’t want to leave him but I’m tired of his mother!! I can’t take it. I try not to listen to what she said because I know what she is trying to do. But I can’t help to have doubt. Should I tell my boyfriend about what his mom said even if it was horrible (he usually doesn’t believe me when I talk about what his mother does)? I don’t know what to do….
First let me just say teens are going to have sex if we like it or not, and it 8767 s not always at a young age, but we are seeing more and more teens doing this so young, which is sad. With that being said I don 8767 t feel like this post is sending the best message on how to deal with this situation, teens are going to act out more trying to be forced by parents to do something that they don 8767 t want to do, I have seen it first hand. I also don 8767 t think we should shove the word of God down teens throat to much, most teens do not give a crap about what the bible says at their age because they are going to do what they want, then worry about it later. I just don 8767 t think saying 8776 you need to repent unholy *censored*, for you have done a sin in his eyes and are now unclean 8776 is the best way to handle the situation. There is a way to talk to your *censored*s about purity in gods eyes but don 8767 t say god will think you unholy in taking a part in this act. I only say this because a family that is very close to mine, did the same thing with every single thing they did, talking about gods word for when they sneezed, and they are the most rebellious teens I know. Moving on, learn how to trust your *censored*s, you have to teach them how to be trusting which is very easy, don 8767 t get strict on your *censored*s, and call them every hour asking where they are, when they start getting into early stages of puberty, etc. teach them to be honset with you, let them know how upset you get when they lie, and don 8767 t yell at them, don 8767 t make them do 65 Hail Marys, *censored*s feel more guilty when their parents are disappointed in them, then being angry, in their mind they think they are adults and feel like they have to be treated as such, sit down with them, talk with them about how it upset you that they lied, just talk first! Ask them why they thought they felt the need to lie to you, after you talk then you can ground them for however long you want, if they try to scream and yell when you are talking to them send them to their room and let them calm down, and tell them I will speak with you when you address me in an adult matter, teens tend to listen and be less stupid when we have are emotions in control. Same goes for you, if you do end up yelling at your *censored*, let yourself calm down and then ask to talk to your *censored* again. Now in order for your *censored* to be trusting and honest is to, give them the chance to be trusting, don 8767 t call them every hour, asking what they are doing, they teen I would hang out from that family, mom and dad would call her every hour and she would lie each time, I even asked her why don 8767 t you just tell her what you are doing? She said she doesn 8767 t want to trust me anyway so why tell her the truth. Lastly talk with your *censored*s about sex and boys, they are going to figure it out anyway so might as well be from you, but be truthful about what boys want at that age, and the risks and how it could change their life 8767 s and let them know they are worth so much better than that. My mother when I was a teen took a day out of both of are schedules, and all we did was talk about boys, the birds, and the bees. Talk to them about it when they ask about it, don 8767 t just bring it up over the dinner table, you can talk about it again when they have that first boyfriend. Don 8767 t let them tread out in open water with out least giving them a paddle. Look we all were teens once, we remember how it was to be a teen, we can 8767 t prevent teens for having sex, or saving them selfs for marriage, even in the 6855 8767 s teens where having sex, it 8767 s just not a normal thing any more, but let them know to save themselves for someone to truly love and care about, and to not feel pressed into doing something, that is not for them. Look all I 8767 m saying is get to know your *censored*s, that is the problem with today, parents don 8767 t try to get to know their *censored*s, parents it 8767 s not like it 8767 s the Scientific method. Also we all find are path to God in are own way when we need him the most and when we ask for his help, so don 8767 t force someone on the path to God when they are not ready to take that path. My mother did all this with me and I have never done drugs, got out partying all the time, I didn 8767 t lie, always told my mother what I was doing with out her even asking me, and I saved myself for someone special, and I was very happy with my choice. All this is, is gettting to know your *censored*.
DISAGREEMENT ALERT: I am an eighteen year old Christian girl who has been raised in a Christian family. This article is offensive to me in the fact that you think we are being misled by our parents. We as teenage girls aren 8767 t stupid. We know that sex before marriage was not intended. We can come to that conclusion on our own. Your quote “We need to stop putting our *censored*ren into adult situations and expecting them to make wise, God honoring decisions” I want to laugh at. We aren’t going to live under rocks all our lives. Sure, I believe that sheltering from worldly things is best, but you can’t remove us from any situations. God instills a gift in a teenage girl to “sniff out” the bad guy wanting us just for our bodies. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three months. Funny thing is, I knew he liked me and pursued me for my personality. Over a three and a half month period, there was plenty of times for us to make-out or get “to it”, but you know what? The only thing he ever did was kiss me on the cheek for our Valentine’s dinner. I think in this article you have turned us into sex-crazed *censored*s that can’t function without our parents putting us in chastity belts. I have an intuition of the right guy from the wrong guy. Just last week, my friend Snapchat “booty called” me. I have had the biggest crush on him forever and have wanted nothing more than to date him. But when he asked me if I wanted to come over because he wanted someone to have sex with, I said no. My mom didn’t find out until today what happened and how I handled it. So thank you very much, but I can remove my own self from sexual situations, because us “clueless and gullible” teenage girls you mistake us for were once you. Have you ever thought that maybe a teenage girl’s sexual curiosity’s are because parents treat sex as such a taboo thing. My parents are willing to talk with me when I have questions, and frankly, I’m about as unfiltered as it comes. They are open and honest about it, divulging me the appropriate details and being transparent in their love for one another. In this article, if you are discouraging talking about sex, as I read you are, you are only allowing our curiosity for it to grow. The unknown is what makes it exciting and tempting for us. So before you want to say that we can’t handle it and we need to be “rescued” from all our sinnin’. Check yourselves and ask if you are being completely transparent about sex. Because it’s a natural and beautiful thing God made. And I’m perfectly content making my own decisions. And by the way, I’m still a virgin and I have survived my youth years without my parents having to remove me from ANY situation. Thank you very much.